Newly appointed “Director of Nightlife” ready to take over Broadway.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — In a desperate attempt to seem like they’re doing something about the chaos that is Nashville’s nightlife, city officials have appointed a new “director of nightlife” to crack down on the unruly partiers that have made the city a main attraction.

Mayor Cooper has chosen Benton McDonough to lead the charge against the party buses that terrorize the streets of downtown Nashville. Safe Fun Nashville, a group that has long been critical of the party bus invasion, has expressed full support for the creation of this new position.

However, it remains to be seen if McDonough, armed with nothing more than a stern frown and a clipboard, will be able to take on the hordes of drunken revelers and questionable bus operators that have taken over the city.

Mayor Cooper has stated that McDonough will work with residents and the nightlife industry to address issues such as cleanliness, noise, and safety, as well as collaborating with local government to bring in resources to help deal with the problems facing downtown Nashville, including traffic, noise, excessive drinking, and inappropriate behavior.

Safe Fun Nashville looks forward to seeing what the new director of nightlife will accomplish, though they are rumored to be placing bets on how long it will take before McDonough is seen running down the streets, screaming incoherently and throwing his clipboard at fleeing party buses.

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